THE VOICE IN MY HEAD…

May31

EXUBERANT IMAGINATION OR BIZARRE DELUSIONS

/ short story by Me… :) /

…So. No name, no face. The mystery thickened. Totally weird. He could not get dressed nor could he remember where he should get himself ready for…

“Is your memory better now?”, asked a voice in his head. “Did you remember everything now?”, the same voice went on in a minute. “You obviously didn’t, completely useless! Complete disaster!…”, the voice, he couldn’t recognize, kept on. He was not even sure whether he should hear voices in his head for he did not know whether this was normal or completely insane, just like the world he had found himself in the moment he had woken up. “Humpy!”, “George!”, “Well, you should have a name, right!”, the strange voice yelled in his ear. “George!”, the stranger repeated and he thought that the name was somehow completely matching. “Cool, huh?”, the man laughed harshly. And for his surprise he turned out completely right. The name was really cool and suited him perfectly, because as he dressed and went out on the porch, he found out with relief that passengers called him the same name while taking off their hats and smiling at him amicably. “George?” – the unknown alter ego or the known crazy self that just like everything else was lost somewhere in the whirlpool of his mysteriously vanished memories, startled him. George looked up to pray for the voice to disappear and saw some lights falling from the sky in the shape of large circles, rings or perhaps it would be better to call them semicircles or semi-ellipses? “Your turn is coming.” – the thing whispered in his head. George did not know what this should mean but got himself ready to jump in the middle of the amazing “rings”, forming a funnel in the air, the moment they touched the ground in front of his house. It seemed that others had noticed nothing because they kept smiling and nodding at him hats down. A lot of people passed by his home. Some of them even did it on purpose though. Whether to see him or there was something else attracting their attention, George did not know, but now his mind was focused on something completely different. The sun tried to sneak around some stubborn clouds hiding his body and this made the mystery even more interesting. You may ask why? Because the shadow thrown by the clouds formed a sort of a black hole through which lights passed and went straight down onto the garden in front of his house. Like a small alien saucer lit in the colors of a billion of colorful butterflies. The closer these variegated lights came, the more the voice in his head vibrated. Yes! The vibration grew so stronger that George wished to jump earlier he had to. Just a minute only and his wish would have come true when he suddenly saw through the small spaces between the semicircles that reflected in his eyes, a strikingly beautiful face that did not smile, did not nod and definitely had no intention to just look at him. This face was so much unknown to him as the one he saw in the mirror this morning, but the difference was that now the mystery around this lady had to be revealed as quickly as possible, so that he wouldn’t find himself in a comic situation, and he had to get himself ready to jump. “Offer valid just for today!”, the voice in his head shouted angrily. He felt his mind back to normal again, vibrations were over, but the lights were still floating gently towards the garden. “Oh, George, you’ve got the wrong way, lad.”, that annoying and non-material self of his kept muttering. The woman with the beautiful face looked up and then looked at George and then turned her gaze back up to the sky. George was beside the woman at lightning speed and looked in the same direction. The two of them were in the middle of the descending funnel and in seconds everything around them went black, dark and so thick that they could swear that there was nothing else beyond the funnel, but something like tar. The woman raised her hand to her face and easily pulled off her skin that formed her beautiful features. Her body was still human, but the face – she really had no face any more, not even cheekbones. Her features had lost their charm and now looked like shapeless moulds that indicated no eyes or nose, or ears. George was in total bewilderment. Now, he no longer wanted to know who he was, whose was the face he had seen in the mirror this morning, and whose was the voice in his mind that he had called, figuratively speaking, his own crazy self. The woman’s hands spread and touched the edges of the semi-ellipse. Then, in a blink of the eye, like a rocket, the incredible silhouette with human body and polygonal head shoot up the funnel. Darkness around dispersed. The tar became transparent, and the garden and the house took back its old appearance. The colored lights flew up again the same way they had flown down and the sun shifted the stubborn clouds and shone with all its power. Its rays blinded George’s gazing eyes and he started rubbing them frantically. Faint flashes of the past moments flickered behind the darkness of his closed eyelids, and that, like a bad dream, transported him back besides the strange creature that had seemed so beautiful before entering the so impossible to be described funnel. A slight shock shook his head and at the time he thought that the voice in his head would speak again to explain what had just happened, he simply… fainted.

    A few hours later, when the man woke up, there was a nurse checking something on a glowing monitor above his head. The dim light that was seeping through the room only reminded him of what had happened. The nurse smiled at him calmly and asked him a few questions one of which was about his name. Once more confused this day, because for him to be John Doe or George was the same, he shook his head and denied knowing anything about himself except that he had met with an alien. A few seconds later the nurse recovered from the shock and told him that he had been in a coma more than twenty-four hours and it was impossible to have met anyone, whether man or… alien during that time. Doctors knew who he was, what his condition was and why he had woken up exactly after a twenty-four hour coma, but said nothing. Not that it was bad that he had woken up, but the time he had spent in coma was not of interest for them, but only for George. Exactly twenty-four hours. George did not know what was the reason and one of the nurses had to explain the patient that there was nothing strange. The woman had blushed like a tomato and what she had to say did not seem so easy to her. “See, mister..”, she began cautiously. “You’ve been here ten years and…” Ten years! Quite a long time for a man that did not remember even his name.”… and after the fifth year you kept relapsing back into a twenty-four hour coma every second day after you’ve woken up.” Poor nurse, to announce such news and to expect the patient not to go mad was definitely not something that a person could do willingly. All eyes were fixed on the patient. George had not heard noises in his head since he had woken up, but now, more than anything, he wanted to hear his crazy self to feel himself more at home. From what he had heard he would soon sink back into a coma. Would he find himself back into the world he remembered as his home and would he see again this extraordinary funnel descending from the sky in his garden??? So many questions unanswered. The chief doctor started to explain something to the students in the room and they paled even more. Perhaps, now was not the time for George to think what had happened to him, what was happening and what would come next. The patient listened to the words of the man in the white coat, a card in his hand and crescent-shaped specs or … perhaps they looked more like semicircles? But wait! Where had he seen the same ethereal glow that streamed from the spectacles of the smiling doctor? Where had he seen something so breathtaking? The funnel! Was it possible that the doctor had something to do with the funnel? Or the funnel had something in common with the doctor? The question was of utmost importance. Only so George could explain himself who or what made him fall into a coma for ten years in succession. The only one explanation he could found, though a crazy one, was that the strange doctor made him fall into a coma on purpose so that to send his “alien” friends to their world or somewhere else, which was not of particular importance to him just now. “Doctor…” – George managed to call a second before he left the room. “How long, how long do you think I will fall asleep again?” – George had to know, he had to keep his eyes open and find out everything he could before falling into the debts of the periodic coma. “Twenty-two hours and thirty-three minutes!” – a smile lit up the face of the doctor who slightly adjusted his glasses with his fingers and left the room. “Fear is too dangerous for a person lying ten years in bed, George!”, somebody said. At first George thought that this was some of the resident physicians who hadn’t left the room yet or perhaps a misguided hospital attendant, but, alas, there was no one else in the room but him lying motionless on the hospital bed. “Don’t you want to go back home?”, the strange voice asked again. “My home!? It is said “Home is where the heart is!”, the man answered without even supposing that this was his missing crazy self. According to George not even thirty minutes later the doctor returned. He hummed some kind of a song that was annoying not just with its melody but also with its wording that slurred together, were incomprehensible and even out of rhythm. The doctor invited a dark-haired man into the room and introduced him to George. The second the doctor and the guest took George’s arms, everything in the room spun like in a state of vertigo and vanished in the whirlpool of oblivion. Clearly, in this world time passed quicker than George thought, and a throbbing pain was forcing its way into his head and kept intensifying more and more. At the end of the tunnel he was traveling through accompanied by the dark-haired man a small white spot appeared and started growing until reaching the size of a room. The two of them went through it and ended up in his house. The stranger quickly left the room and went straight to the garden. Apparently they were late or simply the passenger couldn’t wait to continue his journey to the unknown galaxies of his fellow aliens. George went out on the front porch of his house and looked straight to the dark-haired man. He in turn was looking up to the sky where two clouds were heading towards each other and would soon close the solar disk. The story repeated itself. The only difference, perhaps, was that now he remembered. He remembered everything that had happened yesterday. The alien, as before, showed his face seconds before shooting itself up to the sky. Unlike the face of the beautiful lady from yesterday, this face was much more repealing. It was true that it had no particular shape and its angles were constantly changing. It was true that the matter it was made of transformed and changed its colour very often. But what was wrong was the smell coming out. Why there had to be any smell at all? The smell brought tears. Chopping onion was more enjoyable than this. George couldn’t wait for the alien to shoot up the funnel. He even pushed him involuntarily. This notably annoyed the former dark-haired “man” and just before he flew up he whispered that the doctor would end with him as soon as he started to struggle and if what he wanted most in this moment, and namely to kill him, was not done by the doctor, he would come back to do it himself. Good alternative, don’t you think? Chosen to be a sort of gateway for creatures with unknown power and mental abilities, George wondered why the doctor would think that he would start struggling. Wouldn’t he? Was not it against his will to wake up in one world and to fall asleep just to go to another? Was not it to his detriment to spend ten years in bed, half of them in a coma he had no memory about? Was not it strange not to know his name, origin and why he of all people was chosen for that mission? The mystery thickened and revealed with unexplainable breathtaking speed – all in the same. One thing was clear – he stood in the middle of everything that was going on!

“George! George! George!…”, how many times I should tell you you’ve chosen the wrong way!”, his inner self protested. As if he could know what was the right way so that to take the wrong one? Trouble! Blackmail! Phantoms, aliens, not existing worlds or just time tunnels leading to specific epochs needed to achieve someone’s diabolical plans. The doctor’s plans! Who exactly this doctor was? George felt quite upset by what was happening to him. Whom should he be loyal to? Himself? His country? Those whom he was helping, or some other fourth party that determined his life? There was no single choice: heads or tails! Here one should act according to his conscience, not by accident. George had to do everything he could not to come out of his coma. But how? How could he stay in this world forever when he wasn’t even sure whether it is his real home or simply a nonexistent reality of his subconscious where he was locked in the trap of his own mind by the mad doctor? This was a much bigger mystery than to recognize the man in the mirror when he looked at himself. And the question could only be solved by a single player in this unequal and wrong game – his unknown, but the only one who cared for his welfare – inner self! “Let’s don’t make a saint out of sinner!”, the voice in his head answered him. “I am as guilty for your condition as the alien doctor who has subjected you to all these tests during the years – from your first state of coma until now.”, the voice continued. The hope that there was someone to explain him what was happening to him was getting bigger. “First…”, the voice said. “… I am you and you are me! Second … I keep telling you from the very beginning that you’ve taken the wrong way”. This was the very truth, but just after George recollected the events from yesterday, he realized that he had misinterpreted the words of the voice in his head. He thought that the voice urged him, that it made him do what he was doing – helping aliens pass into their world. To his surprise it was just the opposite. George decided to enter the house and to look at his face once more. “So, who am I?”, George asked himself after he sat on the bed in the living room  with a mirror in his hand. His inner self started talking immediately as if it had been waiting for this for years and it couldn’t wait any more. The conversation lasted a long time and it was not easy to be assimilated. It turned out that the man in the mirror he had sawn was just a child of ten. The name matched, but not the diagnosis. Now things started making sense. George was ill. He was not only ill, but he was dying. For ten long years his doctor had been struggling to keep him alive and lessen his pain, but pain grew stronger and more terrifying so that he was forced to sedate him every day. Sedatives dazed him, clouding his eyes and mind and finally made him fall asleep. Then he started fantasizing various strange things that after a while he couldn’t distinguish from reality. He had gotten used to sedatives so much that he even forgot what he had dreamed or what he had spoken when he was awake. Now George felt himself very small and helpless. Today it was an unusually ordinary day in his life. Now he had a name, he had a face that he knew. He no longer saw the face of an adult in the mirror, but the face of a child, of a sick child. Pale. With sunken eyes and protruding cheekbones. With gray teeth and bleeding lips. With hollow and soulless eyes, with … head cast down in fatigue. The mystery around his personality had distorted or perhaps had broken from his fantasies and it was nothing more, but a sad and real truth. Painfully and cruelly revealed under the watchful eyes of his inner self. Now there was no need to dress appropriately or know where to go. The only place he had to go was where his parents were. George lay on the bed and closed his eyes. Minutes later he found himself in the hospital room again. He had woken up in advance. His parents, the nurse and the doctor were perplexed. Doctors checked his vital signs. Everything was ok except his heart. It was beating with the speed it beat the day he was born. Mad, wild and unbridled rhythm. George tried to put a smile on his face and this excited his parents. They surrounded him and took his hands. A little bit of hope crept in their souls. That their child was much better today, that, perhaps, he would get better, that … perhaps their misery would soon end. George was still breathing fast. He wanted to say something, but excitement overwhelmed him. As if his heart would burst. “I put the pieces to the puzzle … I did it all … I…I managed to remember who I am … I want to tell you that I love you…”. Hot tears filled his eyes and started rolling down both his face and his parent’s faces. Their handsome child that had lit up their lives was passing away … But he was happy, he had walked his way and now nothing else had left him but to leave them, to be in his dream of fantasy, he had invented to feel better in a world that was beyond disease, beyond pain, beyond reality … George smiled weakly again and looked at the doctor who stood facing him. His specs shone magically. The light from the crescents began to move around the room. Everywhere he looked, lights danced and enchanted him. Then all the lights joined in one and formed a marvelous funnel. The ceiling of the hospital room disappeared and George’s eyes saw a beautiful blue sky, greeting him with its fine weather. Within minutes, the sun would be hidden behind two perfectly shaped clouds, and the funnel that was the gateway for so many creatures would become a tunnel for him that would lead him to strange, but probably beautiful places where he would be happy, but most of all – healthy. So it was. The clouds hid the sun from George’s sight and he saw his body rising and entering the funnel. He turned back for the last time and saw his parents entwining their hands to stand over his physical body. They were both sad and happy. Sad, because their loved one was gone from them, and happy, because they knew that his imagination was so great that it had surely took him somewhere where he would be very happy … George smiled and looked up. Now he knew that every part of his life was in place. He was ready to fly to his next adventure where, undoubtedly, something interesting and never-to-be-forgotten awaited him.

…So. No name, no face, no memory … the mystery can be revealed. Totally weird, but also completely exciting. We just shouldn’t stop dressing up to be ready for the upcoming, whether it is good or bad…   

 P.S. :) I would appreciate any comments on my post…  :) :) :)


Copyright © 2013. All rights reserved.

Posted May 31, 2013 by Meglena Ivanova in category Stories by Me

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